Rethinking residency

I haven’t been posting that much. I am really busy. I am not busy with pregnancy / women’s health stuff for the most part, so I haven’t really been inspired to post on my passionate topics. And, I can’t really vent too much about my life drama on here. My ex is apparently reading my blog, and will take random statements out of context and bring them up at really strange times, and throw me off. For example, he read this post, and got out of it that I apparently want to drop out of medical school. Talk about missing the point.

I’m not going to lie. My future medical career is not looking as rosy to me as it once was. I remember feeling on top of the world when I found out I got accepted to medical school. It is not often that one gets to fulfill their wildest dreams. I went from being a single mom who was waitlisted for medical school and had unsure career options to a remarried mom with a new baby and an acceptance to medical school within the span of about three years. It was an amazing turnaround. Yes, I should have seen the red flags in our relationship already (like his refusal to move with me if I got into a school out of the area, then turning that around on me as my threatening to leave him…huh?, and the rages I had already suffered), but I thought I could reason with him, or that therapy and love would fix him.

I am reluctantly letting go of my ideal residency dreams. I met the program director from OHSU at ACOG’s ACM residency fair earlier this year, and she said I would be a good match for the program. Unfortunately, it is about as far as I could get from my two baby daddies while still staying in the continental United States. While it is rumored to be a family friendly program, and I have a substantial support network there of numerous friends, it will still be legally, emotionally, and logistically difficult to justify moving the kids that far away. It is breaking my heart.

I am not sure what is going to happen, now. I can’t imagine doing any other specialty rather than ob/gyn. Ob/gyn has become an increasingly competitive specialty recently, and I can’t consider myself as a shoe-in for any program I apply to, especially as an osteopathic candidate in the allopathic match. There is one, count it, one residency in the immediate area. According to APGO, they have an average of 600 applicants for 9 slots. There are a handful of other programs in the state, but the closest is more than a four hour drive away. I guess that’s better than being a four hour flight away, but…sigh.


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8 responses to “Rethinking residency

  1. I’m not sure there are any words or advice to make it easier. So I’ll offer the sincerest of e-hugs to you. I somehow believe you will make it work. I think the world has good things for you, maybe wrapped in a package you weren’t expecting to find them in. xoxo

  2. It will all work out, somehow. I have faith.

  3. Lauren Plante

    Ouch. Not sure where you are located. I’d suggest Drexel/Hahnemann in Philadelphia: plenty of leftist types here, smaller city than NYC, you wouldn’t be the only DO in the program either. Good luck in any event.

    • MomTFH

      Dr. Plante! I am so tickled to read a reply from you. I have Drexel very high on a short wish list, and you are one big reason for that! I have heard wonderful things about the program and about you in particular, and have enjoyed reading your writing. There is a graduate from my school who is a current resident, and I have met Dr. Delvadia, who would be a wonderful advocate. My brother and sister-in-law live a half hour away in Hamilton, New Jersey.

      Unfortunately, I live in Miami, FL. I am going to talk to my son’s guardian ad litem and my lawyer, and see what it would take for me to be able to apply to programs out of the area. It seems to make sense to me to apply to programs that would be a good fit and would be hear family, especially a great program like Drexel.

  4. Phledge

    Oh, Hilary, I feel your pain. Well, not exactly your pain, but the pain of not having residency dreams go as planned, for reasons beyond your control. Hang tight, and keep being the courageous woman I know you to be; you’ll end up somewhere, and it will work for you, somehow. Ultimately, no matter where you end up, you will make it work. Hugs to Avogadro’s and all that shit.

  5. hugs if you want them. i know this isn’t easy. try to remember that what is good for you will also be good for your children and family. a better career in a better town can’t help but make you happier and thus make them happier.

  6. Wow that’s tough. I hope you stick with it, as you seem to be on the road to being a great doc. OHSU would be a very good fit for you, if you could work it out. We’d be happy to see your application here at USC in Columbia, SC – not too far away!

  7. I work with a group of general practitioners that practice exclusively in obstetrics. These 3 GPs provide low intervention and supportive care to low income women through a neighborhood health clinic. They do c-sections, vbacs and only transfer the uber high risk pregnancies. I’m sure they don’t make the big bucks but they didn’t have to do the super long and stressful O.B. residency, either.

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