I haven’t been posting that much. I am really busy. I am not busy with pregnancy / women’s health stuff for the most part, so I haven’t really been inspired to post on my passionate topics. And, I can’t really vent too much about my life drama on here. My ex is apparently reading my blog, and will take random statements out of context and bring them up at really strange times, and throw me off. For example, he read this post, and got out of it that I apparently want to drop out of medical school. Talk about missing the point.
I’m not going to lie. My future medical career is not looking as rosy to me as it once was. I remember feeling on top of the world when I found out I got accepted to medical school. It is not often that one gets to fulfill their wildest dreams. I went from being a single mom who was waitlisted for medical school and had unsure career options to a remarried mom with a new baby and an acceptance to medical school within the span of about three years. It was an amazing turnaround. Yes, I should have seen the red flags in our relationship already (like his refusal to move with me if I got into a school out of the area, then turning that around on me as my threatening to leave him…huh?, and the rages I had already suffered), but I thought I could reason with him, or that therapy and love would fix him.
I am reluctantly letting go of my ideal residency dreams. I met the program director from OHSU at ACOG’s ACM residency fair earlier this year, and she said I would be a good match for the program. Unfortunately, it is about as far as I could get from my two baby daddies while still staying in the continental United States. While it is rumored to be a family friendly program, and I have a substantial support network there of numerous friends, it will still be legally, emotionally, and logistically difficult to justify moving the kids that far away. It is breaking my heart.
I am not sure what is going to happen, now. I can’t imagine doing any other specialty rather than ob/gyn. Ob/gyn has become an increasingly competitive specialty recently, and I can’t consider myself as a shoe-in for any program I apply to, especially as an osteopathic candidate in the allopathic match. There is one, count it, one residency in the immediate area. According to APGO, they have an average of 600 applicants for 9 slots. There are a handful of other programs in the state, but the closest is more than a four hour drive away. I guess that’s better than being a four hour flight away, but…sigh.