Reply turned post, the liberation of motherhood style

I don’t normally do much of the mommy blogger stuff (I save that for Facebook!) but I can’t resist linking to blue milk’s post about motherhood with a wonderful Toni Morrison photo and quote. Please go read it, it is a sentimental (and not revolutionary, but in a way, revolutionary) perspective on motherhood as liberating and self actualizing.

Here is my reply:

“Thank you so much for this. I absolutely agree. There is nothing more liberating than making huge decisions that involve shepherding a new life into the world, and helping shape that individual to be a member of society. It radically changed my interaction with the world in a macro way, and with individuals in my life.

Although I was a bleeding heart liberal since I could remember consciously rejecting my parents’ conservativism, it completely changed my perspective on social justice issues. Not only was police brutality wrong on a philosophical level, but that victim who was being hit was SOMEONE’S CHILD.

And yes, I do strive to be a better person as a parent. I used to be oblivious about my physical belongings. Really irresponsible about appointments and being on time. I would replace my driver’s license once a year. I would constantly lose my keys, and usually didn’t even own a purse. I don’t think I have lost my wallet once since becoming a mother 11 years ago. I actually hold on to sunglasses for a little while! I am a firm believer in leading by example, so I tend to be very reflective on my behavior, especially in front of my children.”


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2 responses to “Reply turned post, the liberation of motherhood style

  1. What an amazing quote – so true!

    I was so scared to be a mother – but felt my biological clock, at 28, was ticking. Before I became a mother I felt sorry for all of the people that had to keep up with their kids at soccer games, movies, restaurants, etc. After I became a mother, I felt sorry for all the people who didn’t have the experience I was gaining.

    Having become a mother in the middle of residency, I got to experience resident life on both sides. Being a mother was definitely advantageous. I became much more efficient with my time, wanting to save all the leftovers for my daughter, then son. I lost a big chip on my shoulder where attendings were concerned – a lot of things that used to matter to me just suddenly didn’t. The world opened up, and little things stopped grating my nerves, because the big picture, being responsible for these amazing wonderful creatures, put everything in perspective.

    As Morrison said – the real me started to emerge, through my kids. A better me. A server, not just a self-serving human being. I continue to grow every day, by serving them.

    My mom once said to me, “We don’t choose our kids. Our kids choose us. And we are responsible for living up to their choice, in all our actions and thoughts, for the rest of our lives.”

    I love the idea of my kids sitting in an alternate reality – heaven, another galaxy, insert your own religion’s version here – and looking at me. “Hey. She would make a great mom. We would make a better her. Let’s leave this peaceful existence and hop on her train for a little fun and craziness.” I hope they are happy, so far.

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