Tag Archives: Huh?

Apology accepted…I guess?

Howdy, interwebs. I have been blogging a lot less than I used to. For those of you that haven’t been around for the long haul, I used to post a lot, and I would dive in to controversial topics often. But, I cut down on my blogging for many reasons, not the least of which is how divisive and angry people can get online, and how annoying it gets to rehash the same arguments over and over.

Well, every now and then I get pulled back in. Here is where I should warn the more sensitive of my readers that there will be some four letter words coming, because of the, um, writing style of the person involved. Today, when I woke up, one of my Facebook friends posted a link to this post about white privilege by a certain contentious blogger. It starts with “Years ago, some feminist on the internet told me I was “Privileged”. “THE FUCK!?!?” I said.”

Sigh.

Let’s hop on the wayback machine. I was that feminist. Here is the original post, if anyone wants to follow the sordid path. It wasn’t even a touchy post about white privilege, with nuance about class. It was a post about a blatantly racist display in which Obama was compared to a monkey. She still couldn’t handle it, and wanted to make the discussion about how she was poor as a child, and how mean black people were to her. She didn’t say “THE FUCK?!?!”. She accused me of reverse racism, and proceeded to call me a “cunt” who was “stalking” her (when she was posting on my blog, not to mention the cognitive dissonance of being a feminist who uses either term in that way…huh?) on twitter. She also used my real name and location on twitter, even though she was well aware that I was blogging anonymously at the time. This led me to “coming out” and subtly changing the way I discussed my patients, friends and medical school -> doctoring on here.

Here is where I was a “good feminist” as she called me in the post I saw on Facebook, and linked to many resources for her to learn about the concept of white privilege, and the BS that is so-called reverse racism.

She still hadn’t learned the lesson when we interacted here on the Unnecesarean, which all you old timers will remember was a hugely popular blog at the time in the natural birthy circles.

Now, on the one hand I am happy that she has at least woken up to the reality of white privilege, including her own. I am happy that she has spent the past few years working on her blog readership, while I have spent that time becoming a doctor and letting my blog languish, and she is getting the information out to many people. I may not agree with her, often, and honestly avoid her like the plague, as do many old timers from the natural birth blogosphere. I didn’t even find out about this post from November until today. I definitely have a problem with her lack of civility. She has gone from saying that I’m a cunt to saying “Lord help me, if I have to explain Privileged one more F*CK*NG time today. Seriously? LOOK IT UP. White? Privileged. Straight? Privileged. Man? Privileged. Got food? Privileged. American? Privileged. Health Insurance? Privileged. Please for the love of god if you think you’re a feminist, LEARN ABOUT PRIVILEGE.” I guess that’s an improvement?

So, I can’t comment on the latest post in which she has promoted me from a “stalking cunt” to a “good feminist” who introduced her to intersectionality and white privilege. I’m not a paying member, and I doubt my comment would get through her cadre of moderators. She is not well known for allowing any negative comments about her, at all, on any site she has control over. Please note I did not ban her from my site or moderate her comments. I politely asked her to, in my own nice way, to “Seriously? LOOK IT UP.” (her words now) before she came back to discuss the topic.

I still want to remind her of the concept of white women’s tears, which I explained to her back when this all started. She still spends almost the entire post about white privilege talking about her poor upbringing. Listen, I am sorry about every time she was cold and hungry. Poverty = horrible. I am a class warrior with the best of them, trust me. But, if you still spend every discussion of white privilege talking about how poor you were when you were a little white girl, you are still missing the point.

This poem is by a Native American poet named Chrystos

Those Tears

of a white woman who came to the group for Women of Color
only
her grief cut us into guilt while we clutched the straw
of this tiny square inch we have which we need
so desperately when we need so much more
We talked her into leaving
which took 10 minutes of our precious 60
Those legion white Lesbians whose feelings are hurt
because we have a Lesbians of Color Potluck
once a month for 2 hours
without them
Those tears of the straight woman
because we kicked out her boyfriend at the Lesbians only
poetry reading where no microphone was provided
& the room was much too small for all of us
shouting that we were imperialists
though I had spent 8 minutes trying to explain
to her that an oppressed people
cannot oppress their oppressor
She ignored me
charged into the room weeping & storming
taking up 9 minutes of our precious tiny square inch
Ah those tears
which could be jails, graves, rapists, thieves, thugs
those tears which are so puffed up with inappropriate grief
Those women who are used to having their tears work
rage at us
when they don’t
We are not real Feminists they say
We do not love women
I yell back with a wet face
_Where are our jobs? Our apartments?_
_Our voices in parliament or congress?_
_Where is our safety from beatings, from murder?_
_You cannot even respect us to allow us_
_60 uninterrupted minutes for ourselves_

Your tears are chains
Feminism is the right of each woman
to claim her own life her own time
her own interrupted 60 hours
60 days
60 years
No matter how sensitive you are
if you are white
you are
No matter how sensitive you are
if you are a man
you are
We who are not allowed to speak have the right
to define our terms our turf
These facts are not debatable
Give us our inch
& we’ll hand you a hanky

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Reply turned post, second verse, same as the first

Dr. Dangerpartum Von Deathtrap (ha ha ha ha, Jill!) is at it again at The Unnecesarean.

The replies are flying quickly, and the manure is flying even more quickly. Dr. Amy is in poor form, misquoting abstracts and using the death due to shoulder dystocia baby card for babies within normal weight range. Huh?

Anyway, I can’t reproduce all my replies, because they are flying too fast and furious to keep up with.

When I told of a personal experience of being at a frustrating delivery that involved a protracted labor due to an induction in a first time mom, I pointed out that her normally sized baby (8 lb 11 oz) had no shoulder dystocia problems. And, evidence on the subject, including UpToDate, agrees that fetal weight below 4500g (that baby was below 4000g) is not associated with shoulder dystocia.

Dr. Amy’s response:

MomTFH:

“He ended up being 8 lb 11 oz, and there was no problems delivering the shoulders.”

So what? Do you think that’s a defense suitable for court: “the last woman with a big baby didn’t have a shoulder dystocia”?

What would you do if you were RESPONSIBLE in the event that a baby died because you didn’t do everything you could to prevent it? Would you shrug it off? Would you tell the mother, “Too bad things didn’t work out, but it’s more important that fewer women have C-sections than that you have a live baby?” How well do you think that would go over?

Oh, OK, because when I say he didn’t have any shoulder delivery problems at all, what I meant was, the baby died and I shrugged it off, and all I care about is practice patterns, not live and healthy babies.

Here is my reply

Wow, I guess that’s what happens when I comment without reading the other comments.

Dr. Amy – She had NO risk factors or indications for a macrosomic baby and the baby did not have macrosomia. Are you proposing if, in 3 years when I am a practicing obstetrician, I do not section all similar patients, I am risking killing their babies?

Here is a quote from Up to Date:

Fetal macrosomia — Studies have consistently shown that macrosomia is a major risk factor for shoulder dystocia [2,3]. Fetal macrosomia is best defined as an estimated fetal weight (EFW) of greater than or equal to 4500 grams, as morbidity and mortality increase above this level [4,5]. The overall prevalence of birth weight over 4000 grams in the general obstetric population of the United States is 10 percent [6], but falls to 1.5 percent for birth weight over 4500 grams [4].

Her baby was more than 500 g below this threshold, and did not have an EFW above that threshold.

What do you think of the idea of doing an induction at 39 weeks with a Bishop’s score of 2 on this low risk patient? Based on ACOG Practice Bulletins and other online materials on quality care, my interpretation of the risks and treatment decision tree is pretty spot on. How much more do you think the baby would have grown if her physician waited for her due date at least, and how much would that increase her risk of shoulder dystocia?…

Have you read this article yet? The Obstetrics and Gynecology Risk Research Group still thinks obstetricians are misrepresenting risk to patients, to the detriment of women and their babies. You do it also, repeatedly. You have this citation from the thread from more than a week ago. You proceeded to cite a study from the same group the very next day, so you must think it is a good source.

Then the good doctor wanted to set some baseline “facts” about defensive medicine:

Let’s go back to the facts that I set out.

1. Most parents of a baby who dies will contemplate suing the doctor.
2. Many parents will consult a lawyer.
3. The ONLY way to prevent a lawyer from filing a lawsuit is to convince him that he can’t win.
4. The ONLY way to convince a lawyer that he can’t win is to demonstrate that everything possible has been done.

Do you agree?

I responded (in a tag team with hostess Jill):

Right, because obstetric litigation is actually due to substandard care (note the use of citations, Dr. Amy).

One documented way to decrease obstetrics litigation is to DECREASE unnecessary interventions by following evidence based protocols. Funny, one of those protocols was on induction, which is what I was complaining about upthread. Not only did these evidence based algorithms decrease interventions, including cesarean sections, and improve outcomes (preventing those preventable deaths), but they also reduced litigation. Imagine that. With a citation.

Watch Dr. Amy completely invent imaginary conclusions contrary to the actual studies I posted, and then dig her heels in when I present her with the actual conclusions of the studies, and she can’t provide any quotes.

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Whole Fools strikes again

Argh, I wish I had known this earlier today, when I went to Whole Foods for the first time since John Mackey wrote this bunch of hooey that says we just need to deny more benefits to enable the insurance companies to make more money….huh, we were supposed to make it better for the public? Hey, look over there, FREE MARKET! *runs from room*

Well, apparently he is still a tool. He is instituting a program at his stores that gives 10% higher discounts to workers who pass certain BMI, blood pressure, cholesterol, or smoking status targets. Don’t worry, BMIs below normal range are rewarded, just as long as you’re not a fatty boombolatty.

According to the Bloomberg article:

The offer reflects his published opinion that most health problems are “self-inflicted” and can be prevented through proper diet, exercise and similar lifestyle changes. Cost savings are achieved by “less government control and more individual empowerment,” he has said.

So, got familial hypercholestemia, idiopathic hypertension, hyperthyroidism, polycystic ovarian syndrome, hypothyroidism, a disability that precludes a lot of exercise, a genetic predisposition to a large frame, a prior eating disorder you don’t want to trigger, a current eating disorder, a medication that causes you to gain weight or retain water, or any of a multitude of other reasons why may not be able to make these cut offs?

You will be fined, slacker. That’ll learn ya.

Something tells me Mackey has got his empowerment mixed up with his control.

Hello, Trader Joe’s? Please build something in my town!

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Conversations only med students have

A chat between a friend, who is studying for a block of exams (good luck, LAB!), and me, via an internet messenger:

My friend: **** kitty barfed grassy nastiness all over the 10 hours of renal notes last night

Me: um, that’s just wrong
he could have at least barfed on the GI notes.

My friend: indeed

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A banner day

Well, it’s been quite a day. My blog got over 1,000 hits in one day for the first time. Not bad for a part time venting project. That may sound like doodley-squat to some bloggers, but that is an avalanche for me.

Foul language warning – push the kiddies out of the room

Also, I got called a “racist cunt” on twitter solely based on this post. Right before that, the so-called feminist criticized me for attacking other bloggers, (project much?) and pointed out how stupid I was because she could see what I was saying about her, because she has a google alert on her name. Except that I already said it on the thread I linked to, (note the reply turned post nature of the post she is so incensed about) a thread she was a part of, not behind her back. And, my post only marginally dealt with her, but she has inflated that to mean it was a post obsessed with her, obviously. And, she linked to my blog (which I can see, duh!) on her twitter page.

Then she called me a racist cunt.

Way to prove a point.

I argue about racial privilege because I care about inequality. She argues about how her personal story about growing up poor is more important than all of these conversations, and twists all of these conversations to malign people of color (I’m not the only one who thinks this, she is even being accused of this by others on her own blog right now), and takes this fight to Facebook and twitter because…”It’s Personal”, according to her Facebook and twitter. It’s a shame that someone who calls herself a feminist would resort to such high school mean girls behavior, especially all in the name of denying racism and white privilege, because it’s not about her.

I am OK with the difference between these two positions. I am proud of why I am arguing what I am arguing, and I really doubt she is. It breaks my heart, a little, because we are both associated with the birth advocacy community, but there is room for both racist cunts and people who call people racist cunts in the community, and people who are both (ahem). I am officially done arguing with anyone who would resort to such tactics, however, and hope we never cross paths again.

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Am I reading too much into this?

Models with skins of various coffee shades

Models with skins of various coffee shades

I was reading one of many cooking magazines in the lead up to Thanksgiving, and I stumbled across an ad with what seemed like a biracial family. At first I thought “Wow, great! An ad with some racial diversity!”

Then I saw it was advertising a hot beverage appliance. And its selling point is being able to individualize your beverage: hot chocolate, coffee or latte! (With the words in various shades of brown.)

Ummm, really? Wow. I, uhh, no. Just, no. Why couldn’t it be an ad for prewashed salad greens or peanut butter or something, not various brown shaded beverages?

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Overheard in the hallway

Let me paint a scene for you all.

[In a medical school hallway, two academics greet my visibly pregnant cousin Susan, who has a history of anorexia prior to pregnancy that should have been clearly apparent to these people who work on the same floor as her]

Not Clueless Academic: (to my cousin Susan) How’s the mama? Lookin’ more like a mama these days!

Clueless Academic: (to Not Clueless Academic, in front of my cousin Susan) I can’t wait until that skinny minnie gets HUGE!!

[Close scene]

*headdesk*

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