Tag Archives: Breastfeeding

Reply turned post, same old song about breastfeeding shame

On my Facebook page, I linked to this article asking the president of Facebook to change its policies on breastfeeding. In case you don’t know, Facebook considers photographs of breastfeeding to be obscene, and deletes them as pornography. Yet, they put underwear advertisements from American Apparel on my homepage.

The letter uses statistics from this recently publicized article from Pediatrics that enumerates the risks of our low breastfeeding rates in the United States in numbers of money spent and lives lost. This is a common way to discuss large scale public health issues. But, as usual, someone wants to hold breastfeeding to a different standard than other health issues.

A former friend of mine, who I thought I had blocked on Facebook, but I guess I hadn’t, replied with this comment:

i’m all for facebook changing its policies, but i don’t think that we need to demonize women who choose not to (or cannot) breastfeed.


OK, I know the post took the mortality numbers and ran with them. I have to admit, they are startling numbers, and there is something about putting a mortality number on something to really drive home how policies can really affect public health. It’s all theory on the internet when we’re bloviating about whether breastfeeding in public is obscene, or whether being “pro-life” really can be reconciled with being against legal and safe abortion, but numbers of actual deaths per year are a powerful, powerful argument. There is nothing inherently different about breastfeeding that makes it somehow sacrosant, however, and therefore we cannot use our most powerful tools to promote it. There was not ONE word in this article that I thought demonized women who choose not to breastfeed. It acknowledged how breastfeeding successfully, even getting out of the hospital breastfeeding, needs a lot of support and education. It needs all the help it can get, and treating photos of breastfeeding like pornography on the most popular, incredibly pervasive social media outlet in the world may be a factor in the public perception of breastfeeding. Period. It wasn’t this post that linked breastfeeding to preventing almost 1000 deaths a year. It was the researchers who were published in Pediatrics, and then the article was publicized by outlets like CNN.

Here was my reply:

I don’t think that this post does that. It is a letter to the president of Facebook about its policy on breastfeeding photos being obscene, and draws attention to the fact that breastfeeding is important by using real epidemiological statistics on the public health effects of the low breastfeeding rates in the country.

I know that discussing breastfeeding’s very real health benefits may make women who don’t or can’t breastfeed feel bad, and that’s a shame. It’s hardly the most important point, however, as the statistics in the article clearly explain, and isn’t a reason to suppress real public health statistics on its benefits. It’s hard to discuss breastfeeding without talking about the true risks of low breastfeeding rates, and how these low rates may be related to how it is treated by various media sources, including social media.

One journal article on why women choose not to even initiate breastfeeding showed that the most prevalent reason was fear of what others, especially their partners, will think of them. The public shaming of breastfeeding is an important topic, even when discussing why some women choose not to breastfeed.

I didn’t see one line in this piece that said women who don’t or can’t breastfeed are wrong in any way. It’s an important health decision with important health consequences, and when I talk about it as a public health issue, I am not commenting on individual women’s health choices, which, when regarding many aspects of pregnancy, birth and parenting, are complicated and multi factorial. I don’t think this piece was, either.

In fact, in the comment section, I think the author answers this point rather well. Mothers, especially first time mothers, cannot make an informed health decision about breastfeeding when the behavior is shamed socially by prominent, pervasive outlets like Facebook. When mothers who don’t breastfeed have their bottle feeding pictures banned from Facebook for being pornographic, then we are talking about a similar issue. Otherwise, I don’t this article has anything to do with demonizing women who don’t breastfeed, but is rather about shaming women who do.


I want to add, since this is my blog and not Facebook, that this is a major pet peeve of mine, and this person knows it. I hate that almost any internet discussion of breastfeeding is derailed by “Don’t hurt mothers’ FEELINGS!!!” and accuses me of being unsupportive.

I have a very good friend who had an awful struggle with breastfeeding who eventually had to give up and use formula, another who had to stop due to allergies that led to constant GI bleeding and anemia in her child, and a few cousin Susans who didn’t breastfeed after the first feeding or two in the hospital. I was a doula to a mother with MS that couldn’t breastfeed because she wanted to go back on her medications. I find it really insulting to be told that I am not supportive of mothers, since it is something I take very seriously. I have wiped tears off of a mother’s breast while helping her tape tubing of an supplemental lactation system to her breast, and I doubt any of these people who have accused me of that have ever been that supportive of mothers trying to breastfeed without judging them. And, I think crying “FOUL!” any time the subject comes up allows people to have an excuse to not consider the true risks to not breastfeeding, and casts it as a lifestyle decision rather than a health decision. And, I think this recasting of breastfeeding is a major reason why women choose not to do it.


Filed under Uncategorized

Reply turned post, that’s a nice welcome style

A reply to Own Worst Enemy, on Mothers in Medicine.

Here is my reply:

I think feminism has made us more supportive of women’s various choices and roles in life. I think women who work outside the home, go to medical school, get divorced, use birth control, have babies when unmarried, wear pants, etc. are judged a lot less now than they were a few decades ago, due to feminism.

I have been hurt by men and women alike. I think sexism and hurt in general isn’t doled out by a single gender.

Yes, women (and men) are very judgmental of women’s choices. Women definitely play along with the patriarchy and tear other women apart. “Female Chauvinist Pigs” by Ariel Levy is a really good book on the subject.

That’s why feminism has a lot more to do.

I am sorry I flounced away from your blog with a seething comment. I am just not a fan of Glenn Beck’s. You linked to a long letter of his I had serious problems with.

I think Glenn Beck is a destructive force in our country, one of those same fringe elements you seem to criticize in this post – like overly judgmental breastfeeders (most of us weren’t or aren’t) or stay at home moms who judge moms who work (most I know don’t). And he isn’t even a woman.

I hope it is less baffling to you now.

What do *I* think we should do?

I think we should be introspective and supportive. I think we shouldn’t give support to hostile fringe elements – whether it be med school friends who talk about someone’s eyebrows needing to be waxed or political pundits who stoke hatred.

I think we should support each other as best we can.


Filed under Uncategorized

Collaboration can be cool

I am almost done with this part of reviewing the chapters for Our Bodies, Ourselves. I was really happy that I was able to recruit some help from trans activists, a disability activist, and a female sexual dysfunction activist with whom to discuss some of the material, to help make it more inclusive. I am also passing on some resources to the editors of websites I find useful that deal with size acceptance, including size acceptance in pregnancy, women of color and lactation, and the like.

Although these topics can tend to be difficult, I am happy I have had a mostly wonderful experience reaching out. Spending time in progressive communities, and finding blogs and websites on these issues in the past helped me work with existing relationships that I was very grateful for, and I built a new bridge, too.

Being an ally can be a good thing, and can be really gratifying and worth it. I know it can be potentially irritating for members of these groups to point out obvious things to people like me (e.g. If you don’t have to mention gender, don’t mention it! When in doubt, leave it out. It’s easier than it seems. Pregnant woman Pregnant patient. See how simple? Edited to add: I in no means want to imply that a physiologically normal birth should be medicalized with unnecessary interventions. My chapter dealt with medical procedures and medical conditions, but the changes I made did not use the term “patient”. It was a quick example with an unintended backlash below.)

But, as an activist / advocate / rabble rouser myself, I don’t want to just complain, and I am sure I am not alone. I want to discuss issues with people who want to improve our culture together. No, I don’t feel like educating everyone all the time, and everyone doesn’t feel like being educated all the time. But there’s a great middle ground where we can communicate with each other. It’s a great place.


Filed under Uncategorized

Doublethink in health care

A four-month-old exclusively breastfed baby in the 99th percentile for its weight and height was refused health insurance because it has “obesity” as a preexisting condition.

*Shakes head in disbelief*

This story in the Denver Post is a perfect example of the sort of Orwellian doublethink that must exist for people to oppose health care reform because it will add a layer of evil government bureaucracy into medical decision making.

Here’s a great quote from the article:

Health insurance reform measures are trying to do away with such denials that come from a process called “underwriting.”

“If health care reform occurs, underwriting will go away. We do it because everybody else in the industry does it,” said Dr. Doug Speedie, medical director at Rocky Mountain Health Plans, the company that turned down Alex.

This kind of um, logic, for lack of a better term, is what these newly enraged self styled radical libertarians are advocating as a superior framework for guiding medical coverage than the government?

(A tip o’ the chapeau to Hoyden About Town)

Edited to add:

Here is a picture of Z when he was about that age:


I am sure he was in the 99th percentile, if I cared to measure it. Oh, yeah, and he has always been accident prone, like his mommy.


Filed under Uncategorized

Reply turned post, guilt and pain style

This is a reply to a post on the post Builds Character at A Little Pregnant. Hers is one of many responses to an article by a male midwife about the benefits of unmedicated labor.

OK, birth researcher here. Please excuse the scientific language to follow.

I think this is a difficult topic, but there are some tools to measure bonding or attachment. It is not impossible to discuss parental bonding as an advantage to an intervention (or lack of an intervention). It is actually a subject I am interested in possibly researching. We could argue the merits or accuracy of such measurements, but that is a different topic. Such tools exist. So do tools on other “mushy” sociological and behavioral outcomes.

Is there a possible negative group impact to the discussion of parental bonding due to method of delivery,or presence of a doula, or breastfeeding (or going back to work or having a TV on etc. and ad nauseum)?

Absolutely. Saying that one method of delivery or related variable influence something with social desirability, like parental bonding, can make people who did not receive that intervention or have that method of delivery feel a sense of guilt or even a sense of societal shame.

(Can you tell I have been reading the Belmont Report?)

Keep in mind we are talking about risk here, not causality. If I do research, hypothetically, following mothers who participated in a recent program that provided doulas for women of low socioeconomic status and tracking parental attachment, am I acting unethically? First of all, if I identify women of low socioeconomic status as being less attached i.e. “worse parents” (not my judgment, but the implied judgment there), and then if my research shows a significant difference between the attachment between the women who had the doulas and some peer comparison, I could be doing harm to groups of women by association just by doing the research. Imagine if I racially stratify the results.

This would also apply to breastfeeding initiation and/or continuation, mode of delivery, use of anesthesia, etc. I did read the original article. I would have preferred a source when he discusses “emerging evidence” about bonding centers of the brain and pain medications in labor. It is very typical of mainstream media discussion of medical issues to lack sources.

To me, the bigger picture is yes, it is a valid point to say that groups of women may suffer by association by possible research outcomes. But, is the benefits of the research to future practitioners, researchers and parents worth it? I think it can be, depending on how it is performed and presented.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Reply turned post, breastfeeding nazis and formula is poison style

PhD in Parenting has a hopping post about the term “breastfeeding nazi”. I also have a problem with that term, which I have written about.

After we dispensed with some devil’s advocate apologist nonsense in the comments, the conversation devolved into familiar territory. People telling horror stories about the two extremes: the most judgmental breastfeeding supporters (you know, certain message boards *roll eyes* have people tell people formula is poison), and the other alternative, (women who don’t want to breastfeed shouldn’t have children), and that breastfeeding should never be discussed in public. See Mommy Wars Bingo if you want to fill in some squares.

Anyway, this is my reply turned post. If you want to read more than a hundred comments, you can get all the nuance of this particular comment thread, but this is my most recent reply:

Wow, none of my breastfeeding posts got this many replies!

Breastfeeding, like every other health issue, must be discussed with nuance. It does not have to be avoided in the public sphere, and treated like a secret between the mother and her pediatrician.

KC, I am sorry about your grief about not being able to breastfeed. My closest friend, whose birth I was a doula for, had a similar situation. There are options, like the SNS (supplemental nursing system), available to provide nourishment (either in the form of pumped breastmilk, the mother’s or donated, or formula) while still supporting the breastfeeding relationship. For my friend, this worked for a while, but she ended up giving formula from a bottle after trying for months. With a hospital grade pump, and several consultations with lactation consultants.

What I am trying to say is that there are interventions that will nourish the baby if the baby is losing weight inappropriately when the breastfeeding relationship is not working adequately, for whatever reason. Supporting breastfeeding and lactation consultation are definitely not at odds with making sure babies survive optimally. If a baby is not getting enough nutrition, then obviously the health outcome is not ideal, and there should be a different health option, which would be to use an intervention like formula.

No responsible breastfeeding advocate would tell a mother that she is feeding her baby poison if her baby is not getting adequate nutrition over a physiologically significant period of time. (Or if there are any other medical reasons why she cannot or should not breastfeed).

This is the equivalent, but opposite, of the breastfeeding nazi remark. It is ridiculously out of proportion and meant to be hurtful. Do both extremes happen? Yes. Do they need to dominate every breastfeeding conversation? No.

But, remember, I have heard nurses, family members, doctors, and women in my own family say a baby is “starving” after one failed latch or during a crying spell on the first day, even if there has been other successful feedings. I have heard people say a baby is “starving” because the mother’s milk isn’t in yet, just the colostrum.

There is no reason why this can’t be handled with accurate information and sensitivity.

As for the sexual abuse and breastfeeding argument, this article in the journal Lactation says that women with a sexual abuse history report wanting to breastfeed more than those without. This article stresses the wise tenet from the article linked to above: never underestimate or overestimate a woman’s desire to breastfeed. Again, each situation must be dealt with with sensitivity, appropriate health treatment and accurate information. We cannot speak for other’s sexual abuse experiences, just as we cannot speak for other’s lactation experiences.


Filed under Uncategorized

Call to action on breastfeeding

The HHS has a call to action on breastfeeding that is currently open for comments. (h/t to Our Bodies, Our Blog.)

I commented on Maternal and Infant Care Practices: Prenatal, Hospital, and Post-Delivery Care, and Paid Maternity Leave so far, but could easily comment on all of the topics. I hope they get lots of good feedback. Please comment!


Filed under Uncategorized

I love Peggy O’Mara

My favorite thing about getting Mothering magazine was always reading her editorial column. She is a wonderful writer and a smart, compassionate woman.

I love her response to Hara Rosin’s Case Against Breastfeeding.


Filed under Uncategorized

Reply turned post, breastfeeding bullies style

In my years of discussing breastfeeding promotion on the web, I have witnessed many conversations that started with the discussion of the health benefits of breastfeeding and ended with a lactation consultant bashing session. This is yet another permutation of the argument that lactation consultants are somehow bullies who, in this comment section on Stand and Deliver, commenters contend that women should not be “forced” to breastfeed, and that people (I am assuming they mean lactation consultants) do this by “yelling” and “nagging”.

I really have never met a lactation consultant who yelled or nagged at a new mother. I am not really sure where this stereotype comes from, or why discussions about breastfeeding often evolve to ignore the proven health benefits and turn into bashing sessions for these evil hypothetical people who force moms to breastfeed by yelling at them or guilting them.

I trained for two years at a birth center which treated breastfeeding as the norm and formula feeding feeding as a medical based intervention, which is sometimes necessary. We had a more than 90% success rate with breastfeeding initiation and continuation. Working moms, moms on public support, moms with mental problems, etc.

They were incredibly supportive, with home visits and moms having unlimited phone and in clinic support for breastfeeding problems. Women who were having problems would come and stay all day in clinic sometimes, and would have help with every nursing session.

I saw moms who were having problems who cried. I have personally wiped tears off of a mom’s bare breast while helping her tape a Supplemental Nursing System tube to her skin. She was not sad because I yelled at her or that she felt guilt. She was sad because she was facing health obstacles in the success of her breastfeeding, and she was very grateful for our support.

I have seen moms (just this week!) furious because nurses disregarded their wishes to breastfeed and fed their babies formula, even though there was no medical indication. I have seen many more health care practitioners pushy about feeding and recommending formula than the other way around. I have seen lactation consultants bend over backwards to support moms emotionally. I am sick of these roles being flipped in the discussion.

OK, off my soapbox.


Filed under Uncategorized

Another reply-turned-post, breastfeeding style

I have added yet another blog to my reader. I liked this post at Hugo Schwyzer’s blog. He discussed the Rosin breastfeeding article and mommy wars in general. The comments had some mommy wars type arguments in them, so I figured I would reply:


Great post.

I write about the subjects of mommy wars and breastfeeding a lot. In fact, I have a Mommy Wars Bingo Card since so many of the same kinds of comments come up over and over again.

I wrote about Rosin’s article, too. The problem with her (and some of the comments on here, and many of the discussions about breastfeeding vs. formula) treatment of the discussion of breastfeeding is the assumption that breastfeeding is the intervention and formula feeding is the norm, and the greater problem of not treating this as a health decision (with obvious social and feminist and classist issues, but primarily a health decision).

Breastfeeding is and should be the normal and recommended feeding of all newborns. If an intervention is sought (formula feeding), there should be ample health indications for doing so. Just like any other health treatment, other issues do come into play (such as compliance – if the mother can’t comply due to work obligations or unwillingness) then that is of course an issue. If the infant is losing weight despite lactation consulting, that is a health issue. However, those must be weighed against the absolutely undeniable health benefits of breastfeeding.

Interventions due to complications (such as formula feeding, induction of labor, cesarean section) should not become the “normal” treatment options for women and newborns who do not warrant interventions. The evidence does not support improved health outcomes with such interventions, it actually shows more harm than benefit.

I am all for discussing the social, economic, and other considerations that come into play with delivery, access and compliance when it comes to these and other health decisions, but let’s keep the ideal treatment options in perspective when we have these discussions.

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized